the-black-pearl-of-your-soul:

“who are you without the media you consume” bitch ask who i am WITH IT. I am the hoarder of stories, the ancient sphinx carrying the wisdom of generations, the ophanium with an all-encompassing gaze. My mind is the modern Library of Alexanderia, containing tales of countless universes. I watched the worlds rise and fall, and i changed them to my will. I sympathized with the villains and condemned the heroes; I was the hero and the villain. I’ve seen love in a million ways and I’ve bathed in the rays of its beauty. Grief, pain, wrath, sorrow, hatred, numbness — I’ve seen it all. I explored those worlds, holding them in the palm of my hand. I exist in all of them, and they exist in me. I am in the past and in the future; I am nowhere and everythere.

turn around.

quousque:

coldairballoons:

what-even-is-thiss:

what-even-is-thiss:

Guys, gals, and non binary pals

Ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereof

Folks

Distinguished guests

Members of the jury

Comrades

Fellow Americans

Citizens of the solar system

All y’all

My dudes

Those who must be stopped

Persons of the audience

Brain owners

Sentient beings of the audience

Bitches

People with PHDs and people without PHDs

All you who got dressed up for no reason

You people

Humans

Lovable idiots

Ladies, germs, and non binary worms

Mouth breathers

Everyone except (insert name here)

This is actually one post that I’m glad got a lot of notes. I’m happy to see that so many people like it.

Mortals.

Just an opinion

may i suggest:

mothers and fuckers of the jury

humans, i assume

those present

my good buddies

friends, enemies, and those with whom i have awkward sexual tension

hell-raisers

friends, romans, country….people

(via sourpunchfuck)

satanlickmydick:

cmnedark:

adultnapped:

isn’t it creepy that from the day you are born you start to die

Actually! Fun fact!

If “starting to die” is defined as “cells start dying at a faster rate than they are replaced” then you don’t start dying the day you’re born! You’re still growing and cells are still being replaced pretty quick for about 22 to 25 years!

So 25. THAT’S when you start to die!

:D

Ask any 25 year old and they will confirm

(via brokenwingedinwonderland)

not-the-real-norbert-hofer:

one day im just gonna do it. im gonna vanish into the scottish highlands like god intended

(via illegalglitterpixie)

fameorbust:

the song mamma mia is the equivalent of saying “i’m back on my bullshit”

(via starstee)

thecommonchick:

(Source: thecommonchick, via starstee)

bando–grand-scamyon:

praise-beebo:

omgimsuchadork:

frenchynilla:

ego-ann-16:

addranaintominecraft2k18:

inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove:

likeful:

epicghostdragon:

likeful:

me every month: has my period AGAIN 

me every month: 

Welllllllllllllll periods suck(trust me, I was emotionally close with a woman, in fact close enough to feel her goddamn periods. Fuck I fucking hated it, men, don’t get that attached. Be supportive, feed her ice cream and whatever else she asks for, but don’t get attached enough to feel them. It’s not worth it.

Anyway, I hate to be callous but that’s just your body telling you to hurry up and get pregnant. Of course birth control also makes them not as bad, depending on what kind. Of course you find out that there’s more kinds of birth control than there are types of oil, which is a pain. There are more period blood containment things(yes, tht includes tampons, pads, cups, etc.) than there are types of oil according to my dad who actually knows his shit about the oil,saying there’s like 4 types.(Yes, talking about motor oil here)

So ladies, find what’s right for you. Ask a doctor. Test some different period things out. It’s for your own good

What the FUCK are you talking about

I thought I couldn’t fucking read for a minute

What

Did. This guy just. Assume women didnt. Know that. Did he just mansplain periods

Did he imply that he could actually feel someone else’s period??¿¿?

MOTOR OIL??????

Someone explain to this dude that your period continues again after you’re done being pregnant

🗣Men shut up

(via sillylandblaze)

mjalti:

I’m living my best life but like. in my head

(via sillylandblaze)

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

krystalprism:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

ahotpeaceofshit:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

chameleonwho:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

musemeter:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

baltimore-baby2002:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

depressed–and–underdressed:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

cxsolis:

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

*me, owning a strange boutique housegoods/book store selling a variety of mystic, occult objects but no one realizes I live there, this is literally my living room*

How much for this stick I can shake at God?

10 bucks

can i get these three backscratchers with a bundle discount

15% discount for 3 or more

How bout this book? I think it’s look cool with a cosplay I’m planning

40 bucks but never attempt to read or open it

How much is the doll?

Oh that? Just take it. Take it far far away and do not allow it to return

How about this?

$29.99. Just be careful not to leave the candles burning at night, the gremlin comes alive and likes to wander around and go through your stuff

Hey this chair looks cool, how much?

the chair chooses its owner. sit down and see if it likes you

How bout this

Excuse me that’s my great-uncle, he is family

(via sourpunchfuck)

tealesbian:

churchnotmadewithhands:

tealesbian:

taking off my bra, puting on a big t-shirt, and crawling into bed at the end of the day is very sexy of me if I do say so myself 

me but at 2 in the afternoon after like running one errand

ok same

(via live-long-and-potter)